Criminals claims they are to fat to commit crimes, and too fat for the death penalty. Tisk Tisk! Happy Halloween!

Read The Article!!

OH MY GOD! HOW DARE RALPH LAUREN RELEASE A PHOTOSHOPPED ADD WITH UNSIGHTLY THIN PROPORTIONS!

Seriously people, why would you get up in arms about something that is obviously fake? Anyone with an ounce of common sense is aware that the models (and everything else for that matter) in majority of our print media adds have been retouched in some way or another. Even those ‘real’ paunchy women we see in the Dove adds? Photoshopped. Plus sized models? Photoshopped. Everything else? PHOTOSHOPPED!

But of course, the so called REAL women of this world (Tubby ladies who aspired to be married to prince charming at age 4 and spend their days mothering the fuck out of the rest of the world instead of their own kids) Feel that this is such a fucking horrific event. Are you seriously that fucking stupid that you would compare yourself to something that is obviously photoshopped? *SLAP*

Hey REAL [fat] women, get a brain and come to realize that print media adds are not the fucking  bible. No one is asking you to saw off your hips and rip the muscle off your thighs. (although we wish you would) But in all honesty, stop acting like a bunch of angry cows every time a print add shows something OBVIOUSLY unrealistic. And while you’re at it, accept the fact that a real woman can indeed be thin and beautiful. We may not be the majority, but we are a hell of a lot better to rest eyes upon than some heffer flipping out about photoshop.

For those of you who have not seen the add that has caused outrage amongst the barnyard animals, here you go.

Notice how obviously unrealistic it is, and how any sane person would be able to giggle about the ‘chic’ bobble headed blunder rather than go from point zero to complete outrage mode.

In South Carolina (go figure) a mother was arrested in June because her fourteen year old hippo, excuse me, son, weighed a whopping 555 pounds. What I find unfortunate about this case is that the heffer went unnoticed until he weighed FUCKING FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE POUNDS. Where the fuck was the law when this poor soul reached 250 pounds? (which I’m guessing was well before he was 14) We really need to crack down on this kind of shit if we want to eliminate fat people. Get cracking you fucking cops. Stop pulling me over for using my blinker too soon and start herding some fatties!

there’s the rest of the article for all of you curious folk.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/weightloss/2009-07-20-obesityboy_N.htm

Look what my favorite Thinny discovered on Gizmodo…

When it comes to being thin, the only thing one should worry about is APPEARANCE. The stupid scale and its faulty numbers do nothing but discourage, since the apparent number of pounds that everyone should be losing varies from person to person. (Many fatties are too stupid to realize this which is why they resort to diet hopping and excuses)

For example, Dumb-Fat-Petite-Bitch and her friend Stupid-Fat-Ogre decide to go on a diet/exercise kick together in hopes of slimming down. Hooray for them. They eat their fruits and granola, prowl around the gym (although their slow lazy asses probably only go on the elliptical for a total of ten minutes followed by excessive wheezing and sweating) and continue to eat more healthy foods and only choke up by eating at Hardee’s once. After of week of these shenannigans, they step on the scale.

S.F.O. realizes she only lost two measly pounds so far, so she is easily discouraged, gives up and stuffs her face with a double order of chinese take-out. Of course she is too stupid to realize that this was completely reasonable, since she was expecting maybe I don’t know a ridiculous goal of 7 pounds like the nasty Slimfast commercials promise?

DFPB steps on the scale and to her horror finds she’s gained one pound. This is probably because her blubbery frame gained a smidgen of muscle from working out harder than it has in the past 15 years with those 10 minute elliptical adventures along with the daily push-up and sit-up. Does she realize this? Probably not, which is why her next move is sitting in her bed crying watching the a fashion for plus sizes show while eating out of the gallon ice cream bucket with the ice cream scoop. Not once did this round dumbass realize that her thighs jiggle a little less than they used too, her double chin receded slightly, and that her body was taking kindly to her new diet of healthy eating.

So when you tubbers are out on a weight loss kick, please stay away from that stupid scale and pay attention to how your outside (and perhaps inside) is changing rather than relying on that god forsaken good for nothing mother fucking scale.

In the complex where I live, I reside on the second floor from the top. There’s a stupid fat bitch who lives above me and does the typical fat bitch activities such as…

Taking the elevator down ONE floor. 

Flopping her fat ass around so it sounds like an elephant flamenco dancing

Yells at me and fellow thinnies with her pudge posse about how we are going to blow away when it’s windy outside. (Um, do I know you? Would you dare yell such things if your pathetic poochie posse wasn’t rolling around behind you?)

Smelling like a fat person. (Very unpleasant when you come in close quarters with her… smells like a combo of sour milk and onions with a hint of Bounty)

Stacking her extra large pizza boxes in the hallway for other residents to trip over because she is too fat and lazy to walk 20 feet to the garbage.

But hence! She has started a new habit! Every night at about 1:00 AM, she starts BAWLING.  Not really sure what she is bawling about, but I can hear it through the ceiling… I did hear her shriek “FUCK MY LIFE!!” Yes, fat bitch, fuck your disgusting, smelly life. Perhaps I should parade upstairs and slap her so she ripples and thunders. I bet she wasn’t able to consume her daily 10 pounds of food leaving her feeling a bit more empty and useless than usual. Maybe tonight I’ll get lucky and she’ll be able to wedge her fat ass out of her 13th story window and go ker-splat on the pavement below. I hope she doesn’t flop right onto my car though… Would insurance cover damage from falling fatties?

Over the past few fashion seasons, the flowing top has swooped onto the scene, claiming it hides bellies. (However nothing has been done to hide flabby arms yet.) This is not true, for the flowing top was originally designed for those fat ass pregnant women in attempt to hide their obvious birth control blunder. It does not successfully hide the tum-tum, it only makes you look like you are trying to hide a baby, no matter what size you may be.

Unfortunately, with our growing tummy epidemic, stores seemed to be stalked to the brim with these stupid tops and tight fitting ones for us skinny folk are becoming more and more scarce. When one does find those lovely bone-thin-form-fitting tops, all the smalls and mediums and large(s) are gone, (for some reason they only feel like being stocked with 2 or 3 of each…) and we are left with an abundance of XL, 2XL etc. Fatties shouldn’t even be allowed to wear those damn things so why bother making them in their size? Tisk Tisk Mall of America. Tisk fucking tisk.

Thin is out, apparently, but the fight continues! We will fight to the bone!

Molly May

I finally got around to reading some comments, and of course, majority of you are upset with the fact that I have actually dared to be cruel to fat people. I have my reasons. 

Reason #1: I hate fat people. I hate the way they jiggle, and I hate the way they stare at me like they want to eat me, or just break me in half simply because I am fortunate enough to be able to lead a lovely thin lifestyle.

Reason #2: Its socially acceptable to get down on skinny girls for being too skinny, giving into a fad, etc. But its not socially acceptable to call a fatass a fatass? Um, no. Sorry. I’ll poke fun all I want, and if their skin isn’t thick enough (it should be, in order to contain all the blubber) then too fucking bad. Grow a back bone, cry into your pillow, commit suicide, I don’t fucking care, it just means more oxygen for me. I’m not obligated to give a fuck.

Reason #3: I am cruel, I am heartless. (most of the time) Get over it. If my hate for the human whale population disturbs you, then stop reading. Tis a free country, which means freedom of speech is involved. 

Of course, most of you should have known these reasons anyway.

November has come!

~Molly May

Yuck Yuck Yuck and Quadruple Yuck. This halloween, as the party hour of 10 pm approached, the temperature dropped to a little below freezing. I still wanted to show off my sexy thin body to all the lusting ugly pieces of shit, but I decided to wear a fleece and boots to at least keep part of me warm. As Rainbow Brite and I (Wednesday) paraded around in our costumes in the cold, we noticed that most girls were not covering up properly. Now, I wouldn’t have a problem, to each their own, (who cares if dumb under dressed skanks get frostbitten ta-ta’s?) but these ladies were obese, and I do not approve of the obese, simply because I get terribly nauseous when I see them jiggle. The freshman 15 must have come early this year, or else the fat girls must have mistaken the skinny girls for pieces of candy and ate them.

If indeed your BMI is over 25, you are not allowed to dress like a slut on halloween. You can take a cue from the conservative girls and dress as something more appropriate to your body type. Like a pumpkin. Or a marshmallow. Or maybe a bear or hippo. If you do not follow these directions, it may result in me (or the like minded) puking on you.

Happy Halloween!

Molly May!

I was watching another obscure women’s talk show the other day in between my classes, and once again that goddamn ‘Big is Beautiful’ theme seemed to blubber its way into the main theme. Once again there were some disgusting 500 pound women parading around stage screeching about how they are beautiful (Beautiful to those who have a fetish for whale blubber) and how they are mothers (Honestly, since when did being a mother automatically make you untouchable to all negative statements?) and how they can do anything any thin person could do (Can you jump rope without punching potholes in the floor? Or getting a heart attack…)

But the main pet peeve was how these elephants refused to see the horrible examples they were setting for their own children. “If my baby wants to eat a bag of Cheetos I finna let her eat a bag of Cheetos if it makes my baby happy that’s what counts ya know what i’m sayin?! Happiness is a good example to be settin fo’ a child!”

Have you ever heard of discipline you fat ghetto fuck? Your amazing parenting skills have left Free Willy Jr. wiping his fat little Cheeto-dusted fingers all over this talk show hosts couch. And then when you keel over from a heart attack who’s going to be setting those good examples for your fat kid? Its not society’s fault that your fat ass can’t fit through the door frame to get to parent teacher conferences. Its 100% YOUR FAULT. Not your stomach, not KFC’s, YOUR OWN FUCKING FAULT.

You know I’m right

Molly May