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Ah, the munchies. What is an anorexic stoner like me to do when plagued with the will to munch after partaking in such tell-tale activities? I have compiled a list of tips for those in a similar disposition, along with some more general advice.
1. DO NOT SMOKE IF YOU HAVEN’T EATEN ALL DAY. Please. Eat first. Preferably something filling but not fattening, such as rice cakes, or a vegetable/fruit binge. Popcorn maybe? Or even a super dose of a carbonated beverage.
2. If you are hanging with your little stoner pals, make sure they aren’t ravenously hungry before hand as well. Side note: Young men are always ravenously hungry, and they usually do not go on vegetable/fruit/special K binges. Its usually a “Dollar Menu” binge. Stick with some insecure female peers who are not as likely to frequent the fast fooderies.
3. Waking and baking will make you hungry all day. Remember this when you spark a bowl at 9 AM before your math methods 101 class and wondering why the fuck you decided to get high and sit in class for 2 hours in the first place. Upon leaving, you will most likely eat one of the smaller students who is crowding the exit. If not the small student, then most likely half of the contents of your fridge.
4. Once you begin to munch, it is very likely that you will not stop. Drinking a variety of liquids can ward off the need to feed. Water, coffee, real fruit juice, milk… even a fruit smoothie can do the trick … Liquid fills you up! And makes you pee…
5. Keep in mind that if you eat after you puff the magic dragon your high is ruined and you’ll feel even sleepier than if you had not!
Here is a list of munch safe foods that won’t ruin the hot slim body you’ve worked so hard for:
Cereals who’s main target audience is not children (Total, Special K, etc.)
Rice Cakes! These actually fill you up after like 3, and their only 50 calories a piece… usually…
Produce. You know. Fruits and Veggies.
Granola bars that aren’t coated in weird syrupy stuff. The dry granola bars that make you feel like you’ll never be able to whistle again.
Nuts. Peanuts. Treenuts. Seeds…
Grain Based salads as opposed to pasta based salads… Like Kamut or Quinoa
Don’t get stuffed this Thanksgiving.
Molly May
