My learning institution has hopped on the sustainability bandwagon and I am now required to take one of those god forsaken ‘green’ classes. The only thing i have learned is that America consumes way to fucking much of everything. How can we stop? Simple! Everybody stop eating! That’s right, if every American took steps in the direction of anorexia, we could cut our consuming habits in half. and then in half again. And then later another half. Just imagine an America where you could walk down the street and gaze at bones instead of blubber. You could have Fast Fruit instead of Fast Food. There would be no more episodes of Dr. Phil where he rounds up a bunch of cattle and asks them why they don’t want to be charged for an extra airplane seat! the possibilities are endless!

So America, go forth and be green! Be a lean mean non-eating machine!

Molly May. For President.