Criminals claims they are to fat to commit crimes, and too fat for the death penalty. Tisk Tisk! Happy Halloween!
OH MY GOD! HOW DARE RALPH LAUREN RELEASE A PHOTOSHOPPED ADD WITH UNSIGHTLY THIN PROPORTIONS!
Seriously people, why would you get up in arms about something that is obviously fake? Anyone with an ounce of common sense is aware that the models (and everything else for that matter) in majority of our print media adds have been retouched in some way or another. Even those ‘real’ paunchy women we see in the Dove adds? Photoshopped. Plus sized models? Photoshopped. Everything else? PHOTOSHOPPED!
But of course, the so called REAL women of this world (Tubby ladies who aspired to be married to prince charming at age 4 and spend their days mothering the fuck out of the rest of the world instead of their own kids) Feel that this is such a fucking horrific event. Are you seriously that fucking stupid that you would compare yourself to something that is obviously photoshopped? *SLAP*
Hey REAL [fat] women, get a brain and come to realize that print media adds are not the fucking bible. No one is asking you to saw off your hips and rip the muscle off your thighs. (although we wish you would) But in all honesty, stop acting like a bunch of angry cows every time a print add shows something OBVIOUSLY unrealistic. And while you’re at it, accept the fact that a real woman can indeed be thin and beautiful. We may not be the majority, but we are a hell of a lot better to rest eyes upon than some heffer flipping out about photoshop.
For those of you who have not seen the add that has caused outrage amongst the barnyard animals, here you go.
Notice how obviously unrealistic it is, and how any sane person would be able to giggle about the ‘chic’ bobble headed blunder rather than go from point zero to complete outrage mode.
In South Carolina (go figure) a mother was arrested in June because her fourteen year old hippo, excuse me, son, weighed a whopping 555 pounds. What I find unfortunate about this case is that the heffer went unnoticed until he weighed FUCKING FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE POUNDS. Where the fuck was the law when this poor soul reached 250 pounds? (which I’m guessing was well before he was 14) We really need to crack down on this kind of shit if we want to eliminate fat people. Get cracking you fucking cops. Stop pulling me over for using my blinker too soon and start herding some fatties!
there’s the rest of the article for all of you curious folk.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/weightloss/2009-07-20-obesityboy_N.htm
When it comes to being thin, the only thing one should worry about is APPEARANCE. The stupid scale and its faulty numbers do nothing but discourage, since the apparent number of pounds that everyone should be losing varies from person to person. (Many fatties are too stupid to realize this which is why they resort to diet hopping and excuses)
For example, Dumb-Fat-Petite-Bitch and her friend Stupid-Fat-Ogre decide to go on a diet/exercise kick together in hopes of slimming down. Hooray for them. They eat their fruits and granola, prowl around the gym (although their slow lazy asses probably only go on the elliptical for a total of ten minutes followed by excessive wheezing and sweating) and continue to eat more healthy foods and only choke up by eating at Hardee’s once. After of week of these shenannigans, they step on the scale.
S.F.O. realizes she only lost two measly pounds so far, so she is easily discouraged, gives up and stuffs her face with a double order of chinese take-out. Of course she is too stupid to realize that this was completely reasonable, since she was expecting maybe I don’t know a ridiculous goal of 7 pounds like the nasty Slimfast commercials promise?
DFPB steps on the scale and to her horror finds she’s gained one pound. This is probably because her blubbery frame gained a smidgen of muscle from working out harder than it has in the past 15 years with those 10 minute elliptical adventures along with the daily push-up and sit-up. Does she realize this? Probably not, which is why her next move is sitting in her bed crying watching the a fashion for plus sizes show while eating out of the gallon ice cream bucket with the ice cream scoop. Not once did this round dumbass realize that her thighs jiggle a little less than they used too, her double chin receded slightly, and that her body was taking kindly to her new diet of healthy eating.
So when you tubbers are out on a weight loss kick, please stay away from that stupid scale and pay attention to how your outside (and perhaps inside) is changing rather than relying on that god forsaken good for nothing mother fucking scale.
Over the past few fashion seasons, the flowing top has swooped onto the scene, claiming it hides bellies. (However nothing has been done to hide flabby arms yet.) This is not true, for the flowing top was originally designed for those fat ass pregnant women in attempt to hide their obvious birth control blunder. It does not successfully hide the tum-tum, it only makes you look like you are trying to hide a baby, no matter what size you may be.
Unfortunately, with our growing tummy epidemic, stores seemed to be stalked to the brim with these stupid tops and tight fitting ones for us skinny folk are becoming more and more scarce. When one does find those lovely bone-thin-form-fitting tops, all the smalls and mediums and large(s) are gone, (for some reason they only feel like being stocked with 2 or 3 of each…) and we are left with an abundance of XL, 2XL etc. Fatties shouldn’t even be allowed to wear those damn things so why bother making them in their size? Tisk Tisk Mall of America. Tisk fucking tisk.
Thin is out, apparently, but the fight continues! We will fight to the bone!
Molly May
