When it comes to being thin, the only thing one should worry about is APPEARANCE. The stupid scale and its faulty numbers do nothing but discourage, since the apparent number of pounds that everyone should be losing varies from person to person. (Many fatties are too stupid to realize this which is why they resort to diet hopping and excuses)
For example, Dumb-Fat-Petite-Bitch and her friend Stupid-Fat-Ogre decide to go on a diet/exercise kick together in hopes of slimming down. Hooray for them. They eat their fruits and granola, prowl around the gym (although their slow lazy asses probably only go on the elliptical for a total of ten minutes followed by excessive wheezing and sweating) and continue to eat more healthy foods and only choke up by eating at Hardee’s once. After of week of these shenannigans, they step on the scale.
S.F.O. realizes she only lost two measly pounds so far, so she is easily discouraged, gives up and stuffs her face with a double order of chinese take-out. Of course she is too stupid to realize that this was completely reasonable, since she was expecting maybe I don’t know a ridiculous goal of 7 pounds like the nasty Slimfast commercials promise?
DFPB steps on the scale and to her horror finds she’s gained one pound. This is probably because her blubbery frame gained a smidgen of muscle from working out harder than it has in the past 15 years with those 10 minute elliptical adventures along with the daily push-up and sit-up. Does she realize this? Probably not, which is why her next move is sitting in her bed crying watching the a fashion for plus sizes show while eating out of the gallon ice cream bucket with the ice cream scoop. Not once did this round dumbass realize that her thighs jiggle a little less than they used too, her double chin receded slightly, and that her body was taking kindly to her new diet of healthy eating.
So when you tubbers are out on a weight loss kick, please stay away from that stupid scale and pay attention to how your outside (and perhaps inside) is changing rather than relying on that god forsaken good for nothing mother fucking scale.
Over the past few fashion seasons, the flowing top has swooped onto the scene, claiming it hides bellies. (However nothing has been done to hide flabby arms yet.) This is not true, for the flowing top was originally designed for those fat ass pregnant women in attempt to hide their obvious birth control blunder. It does not successfully hide the tum-tum, it only makes you look like you are trying to hide a baby, no matter what size you may be.
Unfortunately, with our growing tummy epidemic, stores seemed to be stalked to the brim with these stupid tops and tight fitting ones for us skinny folk are becoming more and more scarce. When one does find those lovely bone-thin-form-fitting tops, all the smalls and mediums and large(s) are gone, (for some reason they only feel like being stocked with 2 or 3 of each…) and we are left with an abundance of XL, 2XL etc. Fatties shouldn’t even be allowed to wear those damn things so why bother making them in their size? Tisk Tisk Mall of America. Tisk fucking tisk.
Thin is out, apparently, but the fight continues! We will fight to the bone!
Molly May
Yuck Yuck Yuck and Quadruple Yuck. This halloween, as the party hour of 10 pm approached, the temperature dropped to a little below freezing. I still wanted to show off my sexy thin body to all the lusting ugly pieces of shit, but I decided to wear a fleece and boots to at least keep part of me warm. As Rainbow Brite and I (Wednesday) paraded around in our costumes in the cold, we noticed that most girls were not covering up properly. Now, I wouldn’t have a problem, to each their own, (who cares if dumb under dressed skanks get frostbitten ta-ta’s?) but these ladies were obese, and I do not approve of the obese, simply because I get terribly nauseous when I see them jiggle. The freshman 15 must have come early this year, or else the fat girls must have mistaken the skinny girls for pieces of candy and ate them.
If indeed your BMI is over 25, you are not allowed to dress like a slut on halloween. You can take a cue from the conservative girls and dress as something more appropriate to your body type. Like a pumpkin. Or a marshmallow. Or maybe a bear or hippo. If you do not follow these directions, it may result in me (or the like minded) puking on you.
Happy Halloween!
Molly May!
I was watching another obscure women’s talk show the other day in between my classes, and once again that goddamn ‘Big is Beautiful’ theme seemed to blubber its way into the main theme. Once again there were some disgusting 500 pound women parading around stage screeching about how they are beautiful (Beautiful to those who have a fetish for whale blubber) and how they are mothers (Honestly, since when did being a mother automatically make you untouchable to all negative statements?) and how they can do anything any thin person could do (Can you jump rope without punching potholes in the floor? Or getting a heart attack…)
But the main pet peeve was how these elephants refused to see the horrible examples they were setting for their own children. “If my baby wants to eat a bag of Cheetos I finna let her eat a bag of Cheetos if it makes my baby happy that’s what counts ya know what i’m sayin?! Happiness is a good example to be settin fo’ a child!”
Have you ever heard of discipline you fat ghetto fuck? Your amazing parenting skills have left Free Willy Jr. wiping his fat little Cheeto-dusted fingers all over this talk show hosts couch. And then when you keel over from a heart attack who’s going to be setting those good examples for your fat kid? Its not society’s fault that your fat ass can’t fit through the door frame to get to parent teacher conferences. Its 100% YOUR FAULT. Not your stomach, not KFC’s, YOUR OWN FUCKING FAULT.
You know I’m right
Molly May
What is Acceptable?
November 19, 2008 in hate, health, humor, life, obesity, personal, rant | Tags: blubber, comments, cruel, esteem, Fat, freedom, molly may, november, obesity, rant, self esteem, skin, skinny, suicide, whales, women | 3 comments
I finally got around to reading some comments, and of course, majority of you are upset with the fact that I have actually dared to be cruel to fat people. I have my reasons.
Reason #1: I hate fat people. I hate the way they jiggle, and I hate the way they stare at me like they want to eat me, or just break me in half simply because I am fortunate enough to be able to lead a lovely thin lifestyle.
Reason #2: Its socially acceptable to get down on skinny girls for being too skinny, giving into a fad, etc. But its not socially acceptable to call a fatass a fatass? Um, no. Sorry. I’ll poke fun all I want, and if their skin isn’t thick enough (it should be, in order to contain all the blubber) then too fucking bad. Grow a back bone, cry into your pillow, commit suicide, I don’t fucking care, it just means more oxygen for me. I’m not obligated to give a fuck.
Reason #3: I am cruel, I am heartless. (most of the time) Get over it. If my hate for the human whale population disturbs you, then stop reading. Tis a free country, which means freedom of speech is involved.
Of course, most of you should have known these reasons anyway.
November has come!
~Molly May